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Healthy Tips for Parenting When Going Through a Divorce

Going through a divorce can be challenging for parents.  Here are a few tips that may help with healthy parenting especially when emotions are running high!

1. The walls have ears

– Don’t talk about what is going on with your divorce or speak poorly about your soon to be ex in the house when your kids are home.  Walls are thin and kids hear everything. Not only do they hear it, but they also internalize it and worry about things. Take it outside, wait till you’re not with them.  They are impacted by what they hear more than you think.

2. Co-parent as best as you can

Tell your soon to be ex…” I know we don’t get along but let’s still try to work together to parent our kids as best as we can.” Discuss how to best transition your children from house to house based upon your children’s needs not only yours. Discuss who will do the homework and projects.  Decide if the children will only have one set of clothing or two and how the exchange of those items will happen. Communicate with the other parent if clothing doesn’t get washed in time for the exchange or if something gets damaged.

3. Don’t use your kids as messengers of information.

Parents typically say to their kids, “Tell your mother…” or “I don’t care what your father wants, tell him no”. Parents, should never be your messengers of communication between you two.  It puts kids in the middle, they typically are forced to choose sides and make opinions about the message. It causes them to feel anxious and responsible for how the outcome of the communication. 

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